Shame works better if we keep it secret. So find the courage to do the counterintuitive thing and tell someone what happened -- invariably those conversations end with laughter.

Pick Up The Phone

A simple semantic tweak can actually change your outlook. Instead of telling yourself, "I'm not good at this, I can’t do it," train yourself to say, "I think I may not do it. "This little change of wording gives you distance and reminds you that your low self-esteem moment is just that: a moment. It describes how you feel instead of what you are.

Put a Better Spin On Things

Self-criticism often leads us to catastrophize minor issues. When negative thoughts intrude, take a few deep breaths, then narrow it down and imagine yourself putting it into the smallest box possible.Seeing a tiny box in your mind shows the actual size of the problem and helps you feel more confident that you can take it on.

Put Negative Stuff In a Box

It's freeing and relaxing to stop holding yourself to insanely high standards. Success overwhelmingly requires failure and perseverance, not perfection.So relax your standards just a little. If you give yourself the same empathy you'd show a friend, it will be so much easier to take on self-criticism and win.

Embrace Your Imperfections

Decrease self-talk by imagining what someone you trust would say to you about it. Or if you use the same wording you use to self-criticize to criticize a friend in the same situation.

"What Would My Best Friend Say?"

Slow down self-criticism by questioning your initial thoughts. The more follow-ups you ask yourself, the more you dilute the shameful moment.

Ask Yourself If You're Really So Guilty

Research indicates that when you're down and out and force yourself to say positive things to yourself, you end up feeling worse.Using possible thinking involves reaching for neutral thoughts about the situation and naming the facts. "I'm a fat cow" becomes "I'd like to lose 10 pounds. I know how to do it. " The facts give you a lot more choices and directions you can go in.

The Power Of Possible Thinking

Naming it something goofy adds a bit of levity, which helps break through the emotional hold that anxiety has on you. Over time, this short circuits the whole anxious cycle.

Give Your Inner Critic a Name

Instead of feeling like it's some kind of valid feedback, this highlights how consistent the stories are. We have pretty much the same thoughts today that we had yesterday, which should clue us into the fact that they're habits, not necessarily truths.

Give Your Rants a Name, Too

By Jancee Dunn A little self-criticism is a good thing: It can be a reality check that spurs you to be a better person. But there is a vast difference between "I need to work out more," which sparks your motivation, and "I'm a jiggly blob."

Give Your Inner Critic a Name

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