Sometimes, if you stop paying attention, or don't show attention, they will think they can't get to your feelings and hurt you. This can cause them to stop.

Ignorance

You can attempt to talk them out of bullying with a commonly known method better known as "kill them with kindness."

Talk To Them

Just let them do what they wanted, but didn't show any sign of stopping. In other words, be a punching bag. Like all punching bags, they get boring and you then find a better task. This primarily takes longer, but can work well.

Let Them

How to defeat bullies with information from experience, teachers, and logic.

education

Learning & Education

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How to Stop a Bully

A person who wants to provide value to their audience through their work.🎯 The Value Creator's definition of value: A piece of work that<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Educates</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Motivates</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Empowers</li></ul>their audience in achieving their goals.❌ Not mere entertainment. Not attention-grabbing TikTok videos that merely give a 10-second laugh.

Who is a Value Creator?

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">No one owes you their attention.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Be non-obvious and hyper-relevant.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Chase Thinker's High.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Category Creation.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">PUBLISH.</li></ol>

The Value Creator's Manifesto

Attention and time are people's most precious resource.👉🏻 If you aren't willing to pay for your content with your attention and time—why are you creating it?👉🏻 If your work isn't legendary, if it won't improve someone's life—why are you creating it?No one owes you their attention. Earn it by creating value.

1. No one owes you their attention.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Obvious content: "3 Steps to get from A to B", "How to do X" ...</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Non-Obvious content: Non-obvious connections between topics, "Here are 3 timeless ways to think about the situation"...</li></ul> Obvious content gets outdated quickly.👉🏻 Non-obvious content remains relevant for years—or even generations.But if you speak to everyone, you speak to no one.So:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Strive for non-obvious insights</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Have ONE person in mind when creating content</li></ul>

2. Be non-obvious and hyper-relevant

People who like running often talk about "Runner's High"—The rush of good feelings while on a run.Non-obvious content requires deep thinking.👉🏻 If you can make thinking pleasurable, creating non-obvious content will be really fun.

3. Chase Thinker's High

If you merely "find your niche", you'll never stand out.👉🏻 If you want zero competition, create your own category.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">What is Ryan Holiday known for? (Applied) Stoicism.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">What is Tiago Forte known for? Building a Second Brain.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">What is Ali Abdaal known for? Acing medical school at Cambridge, and now Productivity.</li></ul>So think about:👉🏻 What's your unique intersection of skills and interests?👉🏻 Give this intersection a name and claim it.Remember: The best competition is no competition.

4. Category Creation

If no one knows what you're doing...They won't get value from your work.👉🏻  Show your work. Get feedback. Improve on it. Keep providing value.But that will only happen if you publish.

5. PUBLISH

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I created a $1 <a href="https://teaforthought.kit.com/products/value-creators-manifesto">Desktop Wallpaper</a> to remind you of these principles every day.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">I highly recommend reading <a href="https://amzn.to/3Wj5iK6">Category Pirates*</a>, the book on which this Manifesto was based.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Scared of publishing? Just learn—and do it in public. Here's my previous Stash on <a href="https://dsta.sh/L3gDZYEwDys6d2Qk8">Why You Should Learn in Public</a>.</li></ul> You can also follow me for more non-obvious insights on intentional living :)*: Amazon Affiliate link, at no extra cost to you

Further Resources

Want to leave a legacy through your work? Here are 5 principles to follow every day.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

writing

Reading & Writing

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain – Criticism invites resentment.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:

Give honest and sincere appreciation – Recognize others' efforts genuinely.

Arouse in the other person an eager want – Focus on their interests, not yours.

Become genuinely interested in other people – Show curiosity and care.

Six Ways to Make People Like You:

Smile – A simple, sincere smile builds rapport.

Remember and use people's names – A person's name is music to their ears.

Be a good listener – Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Talk in terms of the other person's interests – Tailor conversations to their passions.

Make the other person feel important – Do it sincerely and authentically.

Avoid arguments – They often lead to bitterness, not agreement.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

Show respect for others' opinions – Never say, "You're wrong."

Admit when you're wrong quickly and emphatically – It earns trust.

Begin in a friendly way – Kindness disarms resistance.

Get others to say "yes" immediately – Start with areas of agreement.

Let others feel your ideas are their own – They'll embrace them more readily.

See things from the other person's perspective – Empathy wins understanding.

Praise every improvement, no matter how small – Encourage progress with positive reinforcement.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Offense or Resentment:

The emphasis of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" is on building strong relationships through empathy, respect, and genuine interest in others. "Dale Carnegie" advocates for positive communication, understanding people's perspectives, and fostering cooperation to achieve personal and professional success.

If this content resonated with you and added value to your day, you’ve already taken the first step toward mastery—seeking wisdom. To continue this journey together and never miss an insight, hit that FOLLOW button. Your support inspires me to create more for us to grow and thrive.

Here’s a concise summary of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by "Dale Carnegie" in 17 key points: 

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

books

Books

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People

2025, the year of success and happiness! Let's spread peace and joy to make our planet a serene place to live in. 🌎💫


- This year, let's strive for success and be happy! 💪😊
- Together, let's create a peaceful world for ourselves and future generations. ✌️🌍
- Wishing everyone a fantastic start to the new year! 🎇✨

Happy New Year 2025! 🎆🎉

Love is more than a feeling—it is a commitment, a responsibility, and a symphony of two souls dancing together. It’s a delicate mix of hormones and neurotransmitters, often sparked by mere attraction, though sometimes it emerges more gradually.

What is Love ❤️

Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you

John Lee identified three primary love styles: Eros (Romantic, Passionate Love): Rooted in physical attraction and intense emotions.Ludus (Playful Love): Love as a game, often without deep commitment.Storge (Companionate Love): Love built on friendship and mutual respect.Interestingly, Lee described situationships long before they became a trend, recognizing them as a form of love without commitment—a connection driven by affection but lacking defined boundaries.

The Colors of Love- John Lee

Robert Sternberg’s model proposes that love is made up of three components:Intimacy: Emotional closeness and bonding.Passion: Physical and sexual attraction.Commitment: The decision to maintain a relationship over time.The balance of these three components changes the status of a relationship. For example:<ul><li>Intimacy + Passion = Romantic Love</li><li>Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate Love</li><li>Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love</li></ul>

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Hazan and Shaver studied how our early relationships with caregivers shape our love. We may unconsciously look for traits of our parents in our partners, which affects our attachment styles:<ul><li>🔒 Secure: Comfortable with love and alone time</li><li>❣️ Anxious: Wanting closeness but scared of rejection</li><li>🚪 Avoidant: Keeping distance to stay safe</li></ul>This theory shows how our past influences our present love choices.

Attachment Theory of Love

<ul><li>Love Can Reduce Cancer Risk: Studies with mice models have demonstrated that love, or positive emotional bonds, can boost the immune system and reduce cancer progression.</li><li>Love Is Regulated: Love isn’t always spontaneous or uncontrollable. Understanding this can aid in recovering from breakups and regaining emotional balance.</li></ul>

Strange Facts About Love

Love Can Happen Multiple Times: It’s possible to fall in love more than once. However, choosing to remain single while cherishing memories of a past love is a personal decision.
Love Helps in Heartbreak Recovery: Understanding the psychology of love and romance can improve relationships and aid psychologists in helping people navigate heartbreak and moving on.

Multiple Loves & Heartbreak Healing

creativity

Creativity

The Psychology of Love: Secrets, Styles, and Surprising Truths.

You can’t direct someone to a solution, but you can guide them there with the right question.

Closed-ended questions often limit responses and block meaningful dialogue. Instead, use calibrated questions to encourage thought and discussion.Incorrect: “Do you like this approach?”Instead say: “What do you think about this approach?”

Avoid Yes-or-No Questions

Ask the right questions if you’re going to find the right answers.

Questions that feel accusatory can trigger defensiveness. Calibrated questions reframe these in a neutral and inviting way.Incorrect: “Why haven’t you fixed this issue yet?”Instead say: “What challenges have you faced in addressing this issue?”

Reframe Loaded Questions

Avoid assuming the other person’s motivations or goals; ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective.Incorrect: “You’re prioritizing this because it benefits you, right?”Instead say: “What’s driving your priorities in this situation?”

Replace Assumptions with Curiosity

Instead of focusing on what went wrong, calibrate your question to look for solutions.Incorrect: “Whose fault is it that we’re behind schedule?”Instead say: “What can we do to get back on track?”

Shift Blame to Problem-Solving

Encourage collaboration by framing your question to involve the other person in finding an answer.Incorrect: “Can you fix this problem?”Instead say: “How do you think we can solve this problem together?”

Make Them Part of the Solution

Questions open doors to unexpected possibilities.

When someone expresses dissatisfaction, avoid brushing it off with simple answers. Use a calibrated question to dig deeper.Incorrect: “Is everything okay with the project?”Instead say: “What specific issues do you think we should address in the project?”

Turn Vague Concerns into Specific Insights

Pause Before You Ask: Take a moment to frame your question thoughtfully.Be Nonjudgmental: Keep your tone neutral to invite openness.Encourage Elaboration: Use phrases like “Can you help me understand…” or “What do you mean by…” to dig deeper.

Practical Tips for Using Calibrated Questions

Calibrated questions are more than just a tool—they are a skill that transforms conversations into meaningful exchanges. By asking thoughtful, open-ended questions, you empower others to share insights, explore solutions, and build collaboration.By learning to ask the right questions the right way, you unlock the potential for growth, understanding, and success in every interaction.

Conclusion

Great questions create great relationships.

If you want to dive deeper into this concept, you can read my full article on Medium, where I share more personal experiences and insights:👉 <a href="https://medium.com/@luzbelyahabene/this-is-how-i-steer-any-conversation-in-my-favor-fe3a382a790e">How to Steer Any Conversation in Your Favor.</a>Try using calibrated questions in your own conversations, and let me know how they work for you! You might be surprised at how powerful they are.

Thanks for reading.

In our daily interactions, the way we frame questions can either open doors to understanding or shut down communication. Calibrated questions—those thoughtfully crafted to be open-ended and inviting—help steer conversations toward collaboration, problem-solving, and deeper insights.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Mastering the Art of Calibrated Questions: A Path to Better Conversations

You can survive about three days without water and around three weeks without food. You need food and water for energy and hydration.

Food And Water

Adults need on average 7-9 hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation effects your health from killing your sex drive to increasing your chances of disease.

Sleep

Protection from physical harm and mental harm. Financial security such as a stable job with steady income. Healthcare.

Safety And Security

Humans need companionship. My first ever life changing epiphany was realizing that nothing is more important than good communication and connection. Without good communication you have nothing. Communication unlocks a new level of connection.

Companionship And Connection

Being aware of one's full potential and pursuing personal growth. This is not about external validation. This is about becoming your best self. This is a Spiritual journey for personal transformation.

Self Actualization

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

Human Needs

"I want to be heard, I want to be heard! There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be heard. Being heard, seeking attention, and needing validation are three different things."

Wanting your voice, opinions, or feelings to be acknowledged and understood. It’s about connection and communication.

Being heard

Trying to draw focus to yourself, often for recognition or admiration, sometimes for its own sake.

Seeking attention

Looking for reassurance or approval to feel valued or confident in your choices or identity.

Needing validation

Everyone wants to be heard; they just don't accept it. If you're on social media, you want someone to hear you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be heard! Wanting to be heard is not the same as wanting attention or validation

Otherwise, if you're just on social media to make money, you still want your posts, teachings, marketing, or whatever it is to be seen, agreed with, and for someone to buy into it

wanting to be heard is a natural and meaningful desire, not the same as seeking attention or validation.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

To be heard 

Beneath the endless expanse of the night sky, I sat down gazing at the stars.

In the quietude of the night gentle hush, I felt the fresh air swept over my skin, carrying cold filled with loneliness and serenity.

I asked the star, 'are you lonely?'

The star blinked back; 'how could I be, with human entertaining me'

I laughed; 'You're right, the world is full of dramas'

meditation

Meditation

entertainment

Entertainment

space

Space

A Short conversation with the Star

Ever felt like:<ul><li>“What if I say something stupid?”</li><li>“Why do I always feel awkward around people?”</li><li>“Are they judging me right now?”</li></ul>You’re not alone. Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but the good news is—it’s manageable.

Tired of Overthinking Every Conversation?

1. You’re Not the Center of Attention :People are busy worrying about themselves, just like you. That embarrassing moment you’re stuck on? Most people didn’t even notice.2. Start Small, Think Big : Say hello to a stranger or comment on the weather. These small wins are the building blocks of confidence.3. Change the Narrative :Instead of thinking, “What if I mess up?” ask yourself, “What if this goes well?” It’s all about perspective.4. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway :Avoiding situations won’t help. Push yourself a little every day. The more you face your fears, the smaller they become.

Here’s how you can break free

5. Focus on Them, Not You :Shift your focus outward. Ask questions, show interest—it’s a great way to take the pressure off yourself.6. Laugh It Off :Awkward moments? They’re part of life. Laughing at yourself is a sign of strength, not weakness.7. Get Professional Support :Therapy or counseling can provide tools and techniques to help you thrive in social situations. Your Reminder: Social anxiety doesn’t define you. It’s just a chapter, not the whole story.Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @chase.your.vibe , where I share my thoughts and knowledge.

Overcome Social Anxiety 

What truly excites you? What makes you lose track of time? Pursue your passions with enthusiasm, whether it's painting, hiking, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

Discover your passions

"Life is not a rehearsal."

Having goals gives your life direction and purpose. Break down your big goals into smaller, actionable steps and celebrate your achievements along the way.

Set goals and take action

Challenges are opportunities for growth. Step outside of your comfort zone and face your fears head-on.

Embrace challenges

Focus on the positive aspects of your life and express gratitude for what you have. This can shift your perspective and increase your overall happiness.

Practice gratitude

Prioritize your physical and mental health. Eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, and engage in regular exercise.

Take care of yourself

Keep your mind active by learning new skills or exploring different interests.

Learn something new:

Volunteer your time or donate to causes you care about. Helping others can bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Give back

Remember, living life to the fullest is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the ups and downs, learn from your experiences, and keep growing.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Here are some ideas to help you live your life to the fullest if you like it kindly share and follow.

In 2009 Nick Martin quit his job as a developer and tech-savvy person. He packed up his bags and went on to fulfill his own dreams. For him this meant exploring the world. So far he has seen more than 50 countries and lived in Germany, Switzerland, Australia, Ecuador, Fiji and New Zealand. His trip took him six years but made him so many experiences richer and wiser.  Since then the world traveler is sharing his experiences on his blog “Travel-Echo” and at various events as a public speaker. His message is powerful: “Live life to the fullest. Let me inspire you, to get the best out of your own life.” This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

philosophy

Philosophy

habits

Habits

videos

Videos

TEDx is an international community that organizes TED-style events anywhere and everywhere -- celebrating locally-driven ideas and elevating them to a global stage. TEDx events are produced independently of TED conferences, each event curates speakers on their own, but based on TED's format and rules.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). 

For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request here: https://media-requests.ted.com.

TEDx Talks

Live Life to the fullest | Nick Martin | TEDxFHKufstein

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