Perel questions traditional narratives about cheating, suggesting that even happy individuals can find themselves straying. Her exploration challenges us to reconsider our definitions of infidelity and its motivations.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity is not new, but its impact on relationships has evolved. Once a threat to economic security, it now jeopardizes our emotional well-being, reflecting the shift from marriage as an economic institution to one of romantic love.

Historical Context

While Perel's talk doesn't specifically mention them, integrating practices like the<a href="https://d009cbdeoz0hwoa63kwk45y2wq.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=livk"> Hyperbolic Stretching Program</a> for physical well-being, "<a href="https://28e11jngq10f5s3clfrl64zr11.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=deepk">The Genius Wave</a>" for mental stimulation, and accessing resources like <a href="https://freemeditationscripts.com/meditation-script/anxiety/calming-the-storm-a-free-guided-meditation-script-for-anxiety/">free meditation scripts</a> can complement the journey of relationship healing and personal development.

Bonus Insights for Personal Growth

The concept of monogamy has transformed from "one person for life" to "one person at a time," illustrating changes in societal norms and expectations about love and fidelity.

Monogamy Redefined

Even in an era that values happiness and personal fulfillment, the allure of the forbidden remains potent, highlighting the complex interplay between human desires and societal constraints.

The Paradox of Infidelity

Perel suggests that some affairs are less about turning away from one's partner and more about rediscovering lost or unexplored parts of oneself, offering a powerful perspective on the search for identity and autonomy.

A Door to Self-Discovery

Post-affair, some couples find opportunities for new honesty, intimacy, and understanding, suggesting that navigating the aftermath of infidelity can lead to profound relationship transformations.

Revitalizing Relationships

The journey towards healing from an affair involves honest acknowledgment, rebuilding trust, and embracing the possibility of reinventing the relationship with a deeper understanding of each other's needs and desires.

Healing and Growth

Perel's discourse invites couples to confront the pain of infidelity not as an endpoint but as a catalyst for reevaluating and deepening their connection, potentially paving the way for a "second marriage" with the same partner.

Charting a New Course Together

Dive into Esther Perel's captivating TED talk where she explores the complex landscape of infidelity. Offering a nuanced take on why people cheat and how relationships can navigate the aftermath of betrayal, Perel provides a thought-provoking analysis for anyone who has ever loved.

Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. 

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Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

travel

Travel

videos

Videos

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved

The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.

The path to success and motivation is not always "full speed ahead"... but rather a journey where we take a few steps back before regaining our momentum.

A guide to change your life with just your attitude

IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT! Do you dread going to work? Do you feel tired, unhappy, weighed down? Have you given up on your dreams? The road to a happier, more successful life starts with your attitude--and your attitude is within your control.Whether your outlook is negative, positive or somewhere in between, Jeff Keller, motivational speaker and coach, will show you how to take control and unleash your hidden potential through three powerful steps:--THINK! Success begins in the mind. The power of attitude can change your destiny.--SPEAK! Watch your words. How you speak can propel you towards your goals.--ACT! Don't sit back. Take active steps to turn your dreams into reality.Soon, you will be energized and see new possibilities. You will be able to counter adversities and develop talents unique to you. Your relationships will improve, both at work and in your personal life. All you need is this step-by-step programme to change your attitude and your life!

philosophy

Philosophy

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Motivation & Inspiration

problemsolving

Problem Solving

books

Books

Jeff Keller is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Jeff Keller has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Jeff Keller's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Jeff Keller

Attitude Is Everything

I often sit in the dining hall and wonder who I am truly close to. With so many people around, it's easy to feel like nobody really knows you. There's always that sense of loneliness. That desire for someone to understand us, the hunger for love, and the constant fight for happiness.It's a feeling we all share, no matter how many friends we have. We all long for a true connection with someone. Don't forget, you're not alone in feeling alone. Keep searching for those who truly understand you, and don't be afraid to open up and let them in

The Loneliness of Being Surrounded

The irony of seeking peace but arguing over loneliness...

In today's world, people are willing to spend large sums of money to find peace, but they easily get irritated and often lash out at anyone who annoys them or doesn't conform to their way of living.

Desperately Seeking Peace

It's necessary to understand that people have different tastes and opinions.
Each person is one-of-a-kind, and their views should not be dismissed.
Our distinctiveness adds variety and fosters fresh thinking. 💡

The Importance of Embracing Differences in People

Have you ever wondered why we sometimes choose the opposite of what we should?
Here's something to keep in mind:
<li>Our fear of change often clouds our judgement, making us choose the familiar over the unknown 🤔</li>
<li>Remember to pause and reflect before making a decision ❗</li>
Also, let's be mindful of our words, as they hold power and can bring immense harm or joy 💬

"Choosing the Right Path"

In the world of technology, People today stand so close yet too far ...

mindfulness

Mindfulness

communication

Communication

Too close yet too far 

Imagination is what makes us aware of our distinctiveness from nature. It is the ability to think creatively that separates us from the rest of the world. No two people can imagine the same thing, making each of us unique.
Our imagination is the driving force behind self-discovery and self-improvement. It pushes us to constantly analyze, synthesize, create, and communicate. It is our source of growth and development.
 How imagination impacts our lives: 
<ul>
<li> It distinguishes us from nature. </li>
<li> It fuels our curiosity about ourselves. </li>
<li> It inspires us to constantly strive for growth and improvement. </li>
</ul>

The Power of Imagination

Everything you can imagine is real.

Do u ever realize how powerful tool we have in our hands it is our power to imagine. Without it nothing is really possible

productivity

Productivity

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Personal Development

creativity

Creativity

Imagination: the powerful creator

Don't start from a space of "lack"Whatever you focus on, you will get. If you're in a place of lack you're in a place of not being able to receive.Jealousy comes from the place of severe lack. Don't compare yourself with others.

Turning Scarcity Into Abundance

A teacher gave two boys a blue car when both wanted a red one, child A insisted, child B accepted. Both still played with it in the end. Later, another boy asks "can i play with your blue car?"Child A: No, it's my toy, i don't wanna give it to you.Child B: Yes sure you can play with it.After playing, child A didn't put away his toys while child B did.

Child And His Toy: An Analogy

If you were the parent who would you rather give toys to? Child B right? It's the same when you're given money, are you the type to say "it's not enough" or do you start from a place of gratefulness, takes care of it, and even share it.

How Do You Receive Your Blessings?

If you cannot be trusted with a little, you cannot be trusted with a lot.When you see a coin while walking along the streets do you say in your mind "it's dirty, and it's just a penny, not like picking it up is a loss." or do you feel lucky, picks it up, and say thank you. How would the universe/God bless you with more? If you can't be grateful for 1 dollar you can't be fully grateful for 1,000 dollars. What if it was a test of life

How Do You Perceive Money?

Everybody knows the quote "God loves a cheerful giver" but let me tell you that God also loves a cheerful receiver.

If we come from a place of scarcity we will only create more scarcity. If we start from a place of abundance we will create more abundance.Ex. Rob Dial gave out 20 dollars in 1's to different people when he felt he doesn't have enough money. He realized "oh, i can still pay bills, eat food, and have extra to give." The sense of scarcity was replaced with sense of abundance. Abundance is not only about having enough, it is having more than you need.Money is energy, it flows. Money comes into our hands, it comes off our hands. It's a cycle.

Brainwash Yourself

Rob Dial's story of brainwashing himself was out of the box and just crazy, but it works! I want to try it with what i can give, doesn't have to be exactly like his.I'm also one of you, yes you reading this. I realized that i should start giving and sharing my blessings more. Ofc with limitations, don't overdo it. Let's all start from a place of gratitude!Follow me if you like my stashes so you can see more of it 😊

Author's Comment

For a detailed explanation listen to the podcast "The Mindset mentor with Rob Dial" entitled "Turning Scarcity Into Abundance" it's available in google podcast and other platforms.

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

podcasts

Podcasts

Turning Scarcity Into Abundance: Notes

Let's clarify the difference between a habit and a routine, a common confusion. A habit is an automatic action, like brushing your teeth, done without thought. A routine, however, requires conscious effort and involves a sequence of actions, like a morning ritual of yoga, showering, and breakfast. While routines can foster new habits, habits can also integrate into routines, both aiding in creating a structured and efficient daily life.Now discover <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/how-to-build-a-habit/">how to build a habit</a>!

Routine Vs Habit

Begin with manageable steps. Leo Babauta advises, "Make it so easy you can't say no." Start small, like opting for a five-minute daily walk to become more active, rather than a longer jog. These small actions seamlessly integrate into your routine, gradually becoming automatic and stronger habits.

Start Small

Consistent small efforts outperform sporadic large ones. For instance, reading for 15 minutes regularly is more beneficial than unpredictable, lengthy sessions. This consistency strengthens neural pathways, making actions more automatic and easier to form into habits. It’s key to schedule manageable sessions, like a brief daily reading time, ensuring regularity leads to routine.

Practice Consistently

To ensure you're keeping up with your habits, tracking progress is essential. You have the option of using traditional paper trackers or exploring <a href="https://productive.fish/blog/habit-tracking/#best-habit-tracker-apps">habit tracking apps</a> from our recommended collection. Experiment with both to find the method that best suits your needs.

Track the Process

Shift your perspective from what you "have to do" to what you "want to do" to leverage the reward-loving part of your brain. For instance, if you aim to wake up earlier, use your favorite music as an alarm. Or, to reduce evening screen time, swap it for reading a captivating book in a cozy spot. Transforming habits into enjoyable activities significantly boosts the likelihood they'll integrate seamlessly into your routine.

Make It Attractive

For more tips read the original article "<a href="https://productive.fish/blog/how-to-build-a-habit/">How to Form a Habit that Sticks</a>"

More tips...

It's not just the fact of building a habit that matters, but the methods you use.

How to Build a Habit

enigma, also known as a dark saying, reveals truths veiled in mysterious language. It speaks of telling strange tales, communicating in riddles that challenge the mind. An enigma is a perplexing statement or action, requiring a search for hidden meanings to unveil its essence. Biblical example in Samson:The enigma of Samson echoes with depth and darkness, as seen in his enigmatic statement about the lion and the sweetness that follows. In this saying lies a profound truth beyond mere words, embraced by those who comprehend the mysteries concealed within.

Enigma

For the lion symbolizes strength, while honey symbolizes the sweetness of divine revelation.Strength & RevelationWe face lions of various forms – be it Law, sin, the world, affliction, or death.Each lion represents a formidable challenge, yet within each trial lies the sweetness of wisdom and understanding waiting to be discovered. The key to unlocking these enigmas lies in seeking sanctuary in the divine presence, where clarity and insight are revealed to be sweeter than honey.

Honey/ Lion Symbolism

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." -Psalm 28:7 "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem." - Song of Songs 5:16

The Lord of All is Sweeter than Honey & Stronger than Lion...

Just as the enigmatic writings on the wall foretold the fall of Babylon, so too do spiritual enigmas guide us towards the truth. Through contemplation and interpretation, the hidden meanings are unveiled, leading us closer to the essence of our spiritual transformation.Enigmas serve as gateways to deeper understanding, inviting us to delve into the mysteries of the divine. They are akin to parables, yet shrouded in greater mystery, challenging us to seek the elixir of wisdom hidden within their cryptic words.

The Enigma Writing Babylon's Fall- Same Force Giving The Truth

"He that walketh righteously, and speaketh uprightly; he that despiseth the gain of oppressions, that shaketh his hands from holding of bribes, that stoppeth his ears from hearing of blood, and shutteth his eyes from seeing evil; He shall dwell on high: his place of defense shall be the munitions of rocks: bread shall be given him; his waters shall be sure." - Isaiah 33:15-16 "Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come anrainsin righteousness upon you." - Hosea 10

God is sweet - God is strong

Aenigma-or-dark-saying: Truth expressed in obscure Language   🔺 E-nig´-ma in Greek is αἴνιγμα (ai-nig-ma), from the Greek αἰνίσσεσθαι (ainiss...

writing

Reading & Writing

Aenigma

Using too much logic can often create more conflicts instead of solving problems. It is important to approach issues with a clear and open mind, rather than relying solely on logic

Minimizing Conflicts

<ul><li>Logic is the rational reasoning behind decisions and actions. It helps us make sense of the world and make informed choices.</li><li>Conflict is the disagreement or opposition between individuals or groups. It can arise from differences in beliefs, values, or goals.</li></ul>

Understanding Logic and Conflict

By understanding the logic behind someone's actions, we can better comprehend their intentions and motivations. Conversely, understanding the root of conflict can help us navigate and resolve disputes in an effective manner.

How often do we rely on logic to guide our actions and decisions? While it is useful, it can also lead to conflict.<ul><li>Ignoring emotions and feelings of others</li><li>Underestimating the importance of relationships</li><li>Creating a divide between differing opinions</li><li>Not considering unforeseen events and variables</li></ul>

The Consequence of Logic: Conflict

People who are logical are trying to solve problems, not create more conflict. Remember to solve problems, not create them.

SOLVE IT, NOT CREATE IT

<ul><li>Practice active listening and empathy</li><li>Collaborate with others and gather different perspectives</li><li>Think outside the box and be open to new ideas</li></ul>

When faced with complex situations

Sometimes the best solutions come from thinking creatively rather than strictly using logical reasoning.

🧠❤️🎨💡

Logic and conflict are two fundamental concepts in understanding human behavior.

politics

Politics

Logic and conflict 

The poor and the middle class work for money. The rich have money work for them.

The main cause of poverty or financial struggle is fear and ignorance, not the economy or the government or the rich. It's self-inflicted fear and ignorance that keep people trapped.

Fear and Ignorance

A human's life is a struggle between ignorance and illumination.

Although we have been successful in our careers, they have not turned out quite as we expected. We both have changed positions several times-for all the right reasons-but there are no pension plans vesting on our behalf. Our retirement funds are growing only through our individual contributions. Michael and I have a wonderful marriage with three great children. As I write this, two are in college and one is just beginning high school. We have spent a fortune making sure our children have received the best education available. One day in 1996, one of my children came home disillusioned with school. He was bored and tired of studying. “Why should I put time into studying subjects I will never use in real life?” he protested. Without thinking, I responded, “Because if you don't get good grades, you won't get into college.” “Regardless of whether I go to college,” he replied, “I'm going to be rich.”

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

Kiyosaki is best known for his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, the #1 New York Times bestseller. Kiyosaki followed with Rich Dad's CASHFLOW Quadrant and Rich Dad's Guide to Investing.

Robert T. Kiyosaki

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Some might question, when we move a lot, how can it be defined as “resting”. This is when we need to understand the real definition of resting. Resting can be done physically such as sleeping. But, the absolute rest is when it is done mentally. Such as taking a walk to the park, having a view at the beach etc.

The Meaning Of Resting

Remember, our brain is our motherboard. To rest well, we need to slow down the function of our brain. This is why sometimes, even we sleep a lot at night but still wakes up sleepy and gloomy. Because our brain is set the night before as tiring and not in the mood of wanting to do anything much.

The Mind

To achieve this, we need to first change our mindset of having a rest is solely by having a sleep. Nope. The real rest comes when we rest our minds well. We need to affirm our mind that everything is going to be fine tomorrow, for whatever reason it is.

Rewire The Brain

When we perform prayer especially as a Muslim, the first word we need to say is by glorifying Allah. There is nothing bigger, more important, more in anything than the prayer itself. Even our problems that we kept in our heart. Put it off to the ground. This is the only time for ‘rest’!

Rest With Prayer

The most crucial part of having a rest with prayer is by resting the mind. Quit anything that distract us from the prayer itself. Either it is about work, relationship, education, financial. Keep the mind free from any bind. Surrender a few minutes of it just for the mind to relax from the worldly matter. Try it!

Relaxing The Mind

“O Bilal, rest yourself by establishing a prayer.”

Have you ever wonder what it means by having rest with prayer? Let’s discover

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

Rest Differently

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